Struggling and/or dealing with regain? Sharing my thoughts and what I'm doing.

So it's been a while since I posted this thread and while I realize that a good many of the people who post here are newer post-ops and, therefore, this thread is something they look at with dread and/or denial that it will be their story, I, too, once thought that way and here I am two days shy of my 4th surgiversary and am I have looked that dreaded word, regain, right in the mirror. 

What I've learned is this, "it works if you work it", corny huh, but oh so true.  The person I was just over 4 years ago, she is pretty much still the same, but with a tool, actually quite a number of tools if I really think about the knowledge I've gained and the people I've met as a result of this journey I embarked upon in 2006, to aid myself in this often challenging aspect of my life, called obesity. 

The truth is that a lifetime of turning to food for pleasure, comfort, sociability and just plain boredom does not suddenly stop because I choose to have a surgeon do what I could not do, which was to put in place a permanent restriction on my capacity to eat.  I have found that I still enjoy good tasting food, have adapted many recipes to suit this lifestyle and that many social activities are found in sharing a meal and so what I am still trying to learn is to balance my need to eat, because unlike other things, we do need to fuel our bodies, but learning to temper that with the feel good that food has always represented is the real test of this journey.

The other component I have resisted all my life is that dirty word, exercise.  You see, by incorporating a small portion of my time each day into a physical activity that gives me some sweat equity, that equity allows me just the tiniest bit of freedom to enjoy the health and well being that I began seeking 4 years ago, as well as an occasional indulgence.  For me, I find that sweat equity makes me think twice about what I am eating, which is not to say I don't choose to eat some things that are on the not to have list, but what I do find is when I am working it, I choose wisely and with great care.  I don't eat mindlessly and simply to soothe or reward.

So where am I today?  Since beginning to acknowledge my regain several months back, well not that I didn't before, but since I found my way back from my detour, I am down 7 lbs., which is now 10 lbs. from where I accepted that I could live comfortably at, and that was within 15 lbs. of my original goal of 150 lbs., a weight goal determined by my surgeon and I, one that we later revised.  The good news is I am working my tool, determined to battle this disease of obesity and it is a battle of small victories and for this day, in spite of various obstacles, most recently a major back issue, I am making mindful choices and the results are making me feel positive and hopeful and that my friends is what I hope this post does, gives you a place to share your thoughts and feelings, your own victories and how you are doing within your own journy and for those wonderful folks, that are in your first 2 years post-op, please understand that you need not have this experience, but there is a strong likelihood that you could and so what is shared here is by way of helping you know, (a) you are not alone in your struggles, and (b) that this is a lifelong journey, our surgeries gave us a window of opportunity and the lifelong part really starts further along on the journey, it is at that "normal" place that many veer off and get lost.  I am here sharing my journey in the hopes that I can help others with theirs.

Thanks for reading, I know I am long-winded, but I share from my experience.

Hugs, Laureen

Thanks for sharing Laureen! I too am struggling with life issues, which in turn leaves me to struggle with my eating issues...they do go hand in hand!!

I am taking it day by day and trying to not beat myself up about bad choices!!

Beth

That's a great post.

Laureen,
   I just logged in today for a very long time, maybe a year or more.  I logged in for the very same reason.  I am exactly where you are today.
   My 1st step is becomming reaquainted with the WLS community and this board.  Need to find my way around it.
   2nd step is to do the pouch test.  I've been saying this for months and just can't seem to do it.
   3rd step is to start using protein again and to DOCUMENT every thing I eat.
   4th step is to start exercising....heck I have On Demand with any type of exercise routine on there.  Plus I have a dog to walk.
   5th step is to check on meetings.  Do they still have them even?
   6th step is to creep on Laureen and my other 3 yr plus post op buddies.

Nice to meet you again!
Gail

Gail,

Nice to meet you too!  We have support groups at Barix 3x a month now. . . 

2nd Tuesday Pre-op meeting which is open to all, but focuses on pre-op issues.

3rd Wednesday Post-op meeting also open to all, but focuses more on post-op issues and when large enough we break down into either topic or age out from post-op groups to address those issues as they relate to our challenging journey.

These two meetings meet at 7 p.m. until 8:30/9:00 p.m.

We also have a group that meets the First Saturday of each month at 11 a.m. until 1:30 p.m., this last meeting is generally a break down into the same as 3rd Wednesday.

Please feel free to come and just know you are not alone.  If you can, this Wednesday, October 21 is our 3rd Wednesday group.

Laureen

Thanks Laureen.  If I get out of work early enough on Weds to make the drive down, then I may just see you there!

We've come too far and worked too hard since 3 yrs ago to slip back into obesity!

Thanks for your honesty, Laureen. I appreciate hearing from someone who knows that it will not always be ecstasy watching the pounds melt away. My surgery date is Oct. 26. I am looking forward to it but I know that it will not be magic wand. It is not so corny to say "it works if you work it." 

I know that there will be days of frustration and missing food mixed in with the happiness of losing weight. Staying with an exercise routine will be a major challenge for me, too. I can only hope that those down days will not be as frequent as the ones that are positive and hopeful!

Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom!

Marianne